EXCERPTS FROM THE BOOK

PROLOGUE

Dear Don,
I am not sure why I am sending these to you. Lena said you needed to read them and that you would understand. So I am sending them.
I am really doing very well. Not only am I lighter in pounds, I am also lighter in heart.
I'll see you next week. Thanks for all,

Lacy

I first met Lacy in 1989. I was a part time instructor for the College of Southern Idaho's Adult Education Program. She heard about me through a weekly radio program that I hosted called the Master Mind Hour. Lacy and her best friend Mary joined my class of 25 students who were learning the dynamics of the mind. The class is designed to teach people skills to help themselves make positive changes in their lives. This is a good place to begin personal empowerment.
Lacy was 42 years old with penetrating clear blue eyes and short light brownish hair. At 5'9", she had a quiet and soft demeanor about her. She was raised in a small southern Idaho town in the LDS religion. As an adult she incorporated other belief systems that were alien to her upbringing. She was married with children. I remember noticing her in class. She was hungry for knowledge. That is the sign of a good student. It may also be a sign of deeper emotional needs looking to be fulfilled. But that's another book.
About a month after the class ended Lacy arranged for a private consultation. She had experienced years of depression and the inability to lose weight. She also had difficulties concentrating, had emotional upsets, relationship problems, stress and lack of motivation. Sound familiar?
She also mentioned that her grandfather abused her when she was 13 or 14.

These are the
inner thoughts of
Lena to Lacy.

Dear Lacy,
When you were a very small child, in fact an infant, your father was hurt in an accident and he had to be taken away to have surgery. You were taken to your Grandma and Grandpa Larkins because your mother couldn't take care of you and deal with all she had to deal with. (Your fathers surgery, the ranch and three other children.)
Your Grandparents were so good to you, they wrapped their lives around you. Especially your grandfather. He rocked you and sang to you, fed you and bathed you and loved you with a love stronger than he had loved his own children. You were left with your Grandparents until you were nearly a year old. You only saw your brothers and sister and mother occasionally. They were in fact strangers to you and you would cling to your grandfather.
When you were taken home it was a foreign place - you didn't know the people, you didn't know the sights and smells and your security was literally jerked away from you. You were so miserable and you cried and hurt and wanted to go back to your grandparents. Your mother thought that your grandparents had spoiled you and so when you cried she would put you in your bed and just let you cry.
And yes, I was with you!
Your brothers and sister didn't like your crying either and you were a very unhappy baby. You never learned to love your mother and she never learned to love you. In fact, she hated me. Because of that it was very easy for her to take things out on you. You could never do anything to please her. I'm sure she even wondered why she had you.
I know I always wondered why.
You really never got to know your father. When be did come home, he was still in a great deal of pain, and it was hard for him to deal with all of his children, especially you being a baby. He couldn't lift you to hold you and he couldn't stand your moving around the way a baby does. When you were nearly two, your father had to go again for another surgery. You were taken back to live with your grandparents. You started to blossom, you loved it in their home. You were again a happy loved child.
Your grandparents potty trained you, something your mother didn't have the patience or love to deal with.
Your grandfather would praise you and love you and you felt so special.
On your second birthday your grandparents had a party for you and invited all the aunts and uncles, cousins and your brothers and sister. You were so cute. They had dressed you in a frilly little dress with bows in your curly hair and you were truly a beautiful, happy child.
But your sister saw that and she was so jealous.
She sat near your mother and both of them glared at you.
And yes, I was there!
Your father came home again and you were taken home again. By now you were walking and talking and so cute and lovable. Your father instantly loved you and you loved him. You had such a strong relationship with your grandfather that it was easy for you to love your father.
But your mother didn't like that and neither did your sister. This just gave them another reason to pick on you.
And you needed me even more - off and on during your childhood!
Your father had to go for checkups and you went back to your grandparents. Just for a few days or a week, but you were always grandpa's beautiful special little girl, and you thrived on his love and attention. He gave you toys and clothes and hugs and kisses and you loved him with all your heart.
And he loved you.
But I was always with you and I loved you too.